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September 8, 2000 S.B.
Thomas, an affiliate of Dear Thomas': Breakfast food. It's so very important. There are so many choices. I eat a Thomas' English Muffin every morning before I start working on my new sitcom that I am writing for NBC. I apply some toppings before I put the muffin in my Toast-R-Oven and I apply other toppings after it is toasted. I make the call on this. I consider myself an advanced eater. My sitcom is about 3 elderly women who live in a nursing home. Although mild-mannered during visiting hours, these silver foxes live secret double lives as cat burglars who rob the community at night. Bea Arthur will not be a star of the show although she may make a few guest appearances. (in dream sequences only). This show will go places Golden Girls could never think of going. The episode where they rob the local pharmacy in a mad search for Viagara is ground breaking! This is a show that will make you laugh but still take time to honestly address serious issues. (osteoporosis, denture odor, Depends, bundt cakes, etc.) I don't want to give away too much about the show so I am going to stop here. But I can tell you this, my show will be aptly named "Crooks and Grannies". What does any of this have to do with Thomas' English Muffins? Well, I would like you to be a sponsor of my show. Can't you see it? Your crunchy breakfast food is the perfect match for my sitcom! Nooks and Crannies for Crooks and Grannies!! I see print ads with my gals and the tag line, "The Nooks and Crannies preferred by Crooks and Grannies". In one episode Fabio spreads "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" on some nooks and crannies and then spreads his charm on Crooks and Grannies. I am not asking him to sponsor my show. I am asking you. That is how strongly I feel about Thomas' English Muffins. I am not new at this. My last sitcom venture was thwarted last minute by a rare mad sheep disease but I don't see anything standing in my way this time and I am very excited. I would be honored if you would consider being a sponsor of my show. I think it would be very beneficial for the both of us. I will do you proud. Watch out Pop Tarts! I need to hear from you SOON as NBC will want to know my intentions once I send them my papers. Thank you for getting back to me on this and I look forward to the possibility of working with you. Regards, Rudy Schumann |