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April 21, 1998
Like many Americans I appreciate good wine. Most people do not understand what is involved in making great wine. I write this letter today with great respect for you and your company for producing such an outstanding selection of wines. My personal favorite is your Dollar Hide Ranch Merlot with Moscato following at a close second. Last year I paid a visit to your winery in Rutherford and I was duly impressed. I tasted several wines and took the tour. After the tour I tasted more wines. After a quick nap on your couches I found myself in the "aroma" section of your winery. It was my favorite. Then I went and tasted more wines. I must admit I was pretty hammered by the end of my visit! Oh, that reminds me, please apolgize to your lovely greeter; we exchanged phone numbers at some point but I never called her; tell her something suddenly came up. Anyway, I don't remember much from that day but I think I remember there being a place where the grapes were crushed after they were picked and sorted. This is why I am writing to you today. I propose an arrangement that I think you will find to be mutually beneficial to both of us. I kept it a secret on my visit, but I am a world famous foot model based in the Northeast, working out of the Ford Model company in New York. You may have seen my work in several Italian shoe advertisements and in Tough Actin' Tinactin TV spots here in the U.S. (the crackling, the burning..) My most noted work was as a foot double for Daniel Day-Lewis in My Left Foot. I have recieved the "Best Foot Forward" award 4 times in my 6 years of involvment in the IPA (International Podiatry Alliance). My peds are currently insured for over $100,000. As a big fan of your wines I would like to offer my services to your winery. "How so?" you ask. I want to crush the grapes with my feet. (Did you ever see that I Love Lucy episode?) What better feet for such a job!! I have enclosed a complimentary picture of my feet for you so you will be able to see what you are getting. I will fulfill a dream of mine and you can advertise that the most respected Foot Model in the world won't put his feet in any grapes unless they're from St. Supery. I can see the ads now! Super Foot Crushes St. Supery! It will be a big celebration. I am willing to do this free of charge and will even stick around to sign autographs. I will be visiting the Napa area again this Memorial Day and think this an ideal time for us to work together. I hope to hear from you soon because your decision will greatly effect my travel arrangements and schedule...... a shoe store in San Mateo has already contacted my agent about appearing at a Memorial Day Penny Loafer Sale-a-thon. I'd rather appear at the winery. Rudy Schumann
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enclosure: one photograph of feet; lateral angle view. Not to be sold or reproduced without written consent from Rudy Schumann and/or Ford Model Agency (NY, NY)