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October 15, 1999
I am writing to you today out of frustration and hunger. I am very eager to try your line of instant soups. In fact I am longing to taste your Bombay Curry with Lentils. I'm looking at a container of them right now in front of me. My problem: Your preparation directions are very unclear. In fact they're downright cruel, as they are crystal clear up until the very last step! Below I list your instructions exactly as they are worded on your product, along with my personal notes as I perform each one:
Steep?! What does steep mean? Is this a culinary word? Are you trying to impress me with your big words? How callipygian of you! (not fun when you don't understand a word, is it?) I'd think you'd want to make things easy and speak the language of your customer, the common man. The regular Joe who just wants to eat soup in a cup for dinner and surf the internet for porn every once in a while. Is that so much to ask?! Have others ever commented on your wording? Out of desperation I tried angling (steeping?) the cup but it didn't work; the soup spilled out onto my hand and gave me a very bad burn. I am considering suing you but don't worry, if I do so that will be under a different letter. Right now my focus us on trying your product. As you can tell from my last name, I am German. I like to follow rules and I like to do things right. I've tried to eat your soup 5 times but I've never been able to do it. I always get hung up on the last step. Please write me back and let me know what "steep" means so that I can eat your product. Then I can try your soup and I will write you back with my experiences if you'd like. Despite my less than perfect experience with your product so far, I am not giving up on you. Rudy Schumann is not a quitter! I'll wait patiently for your reply. Thank you Fantastic Foods for taking the time to respond to your customers. I look forward to hearing from you. Hungry, Rudy Schumann |