February 18, 1999

Massachusetts Bay Transportation Authority
10 Park Plaza
Boston, MA 02116-3933


Dear T People,

I love the T. I've been living in Boston for several years now and I've spent my happiest hours being whisked from one location to another on the T. I don't think there's a single thing about the T that I don't love. I love the lighting. I love the sounds. I love the smell. I love the conductors. Heck, I even love my fellow T passengers. (I always give my seat up for attractive young women) I love the T so much I should be paying you to ride it. Oh wait.... nevermind.

I was having breakfast with my mother the other day and she said, "Rudy, if you like the T so much, why don't you work for them?" I put down my bagel (I don't eat English Muffins anymore) and said, "You know what Mom? You're right. I'm going to write to them." I think she's just hoping I'll make some money and move out, but nevertheless, here you are reading my letter today.

I often travel on the C Line. It is a lovely line. Green is a nice color. I know all of the stops. Observe: Cleveland Circle, Englewood Avenue, Dean Road, Tappan Street, Washington Square, Fairbanks Street, Brandon Hall, Summit Avenue, Coolidge Corner, St. Paul Street, Kent Street, Hawes Street and finally St. Mary's Street.

Even though I know all these stops, not all the passengers do. And that is why you smart T people employ Herman to yell out all the stops when the T approaches them. I have to be honest and admit that I'm not sure if Herman is the name his momma gave him, but that's just what I call him in my head. He is very good and makes all passengers full aware of what stops are next (whether they like it or not!) so that no one gets confused. He even announces local bus connections. How long has Herman been in your organization? He must be an old-timer because you seem to let him wear his street clothes instead of the standard T uniforms.

As much as I admire Herman I think, excuse me, I know I can do a better job than he does. And odds are I am willing to work for a lot less than he does. (we can discuss this later) Not only can I announce stops, I can also speak confidently on the area's history and recommend hot spots to eat and shop. I have a lot of respect for Herman..... but it is time for a changing of the guards my friends. I officially challenge Herman to a "T Off"!!! I am so confident in my skills that I am ready to match them against his, any time anywhere. Bring it on! I am ready to make this happen. I want that job.

So the purpose of this letter is four-fold:

1. To commend your organization for providing such a wonderful service to the people of Boston.
2. To request information about Herman, in particular how he came about working for you. (in street clothes)
3. To inform you of my sincere interest in replacing Herman in his role as T stop announcer and
4. To announce that I am willing and eager to battle Herman mano-a-mano in any T sanctioned event of your choosing.

Thank you again for all of your hard work and for reading my letter. I look forward to your swift response and hope that one day soon I will be among you as one of your own. Next stop Kenmore! Kenmore next stop!

Standing safely behind the yellow line,

Rudy Schumann