August 14, 2002

AMC Theatres (formerly General Cinemas)
P.O. Box 725489
Atlanta, GA 31139-9923

Dear Movie Folks,

Allow me to introduce you to someone that might be familiar to you. I was introduced to him just this past weekend while on a movie date with a nice young girl named Laura. Before the main feature started we were shown a short animated piece featuring this character, and wouldn't you know it, he was on a movie date too. How cute!

In the skit the popcorn character holds hands with a female soda character. Laura and I held hands at this moment and smiled at each other. The popcorn character then runs to the concession stand to buy food for the soda character. Laura and I smiled at this part too because we did this same thing and it seemed as though the little cartoon was mimicking our very own first date.

But then something inexcusable and highly disturbing happened. The female soda character gives the popcorn character a single kiss on the cheek, and he gets so excited by this that he begins to pop all over and literally EXPLODES! Early McPoppy shoots his kernel contents high in the air, his eyes as large as saucers!

Sirs, this is a sensitive subject indeed, but for those of us who suffer from premature ejaculation this skit is not funny in the least. I don't know about you, but when I go to the theatre I'm going there to ESCAPE from my problems, not to have them waved in my face and humiliated.

I pretended to enjoy the movie but in reality I was now an anxious nervous wreck. After the movie we walked to Laura's car (she drove) where she opened the passenger door for me. And despite my most earnest attempts at restraint, this polite act put me over the edge, and this was where I "lost it." It was incredibly embarrassing. I am 100% confident that if it weren't for that damn popcorn skit I would've been more relaxed and able to delay this event until she and I were on her couch fully clothed. Laura drove me home in silence. Needless to say she did not accept my invitation for a second date.

Will you please stop showing this skit? Will you at least edit the skit so the popcorn lasts a bit longer? I'm not expecting a marathon-man or anything, but you know, a decent amount of time would be nice. Is there any chance I can get reimbursed for the movie I saw that night, and for dry cleaning charges?

Thank you AMC Customer Service for writing back to me quickly on this and for treating this issue with the discreetness and sensitivity that it deserves. It is so nice to know that some companies still care and respond to their customers. Thank you again AMC and I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Regards,

Rudy Schumann

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