I love getting IM or Chat support from companies that offer it. It’s such a convenient way to get questions answered. One of my favorites is Comcast. Their support center is in the Philippines and the people they have employed there are outrageously over-the-top polite, almost to the point of comical.
There are two things that dominate my mind whenever I interact with Comast Chat Support.
#1: You must effing hate me. I am contacting you to complain about an entertainment service like it’s an important centerpiece of my life. “Yet another fat American who does nothing but consume luxuries. Do you know how far the cost of that “digital package” would go for my family? Drop HBO you fat asstard and give someone else a better life.”
#2: I am not really the competitive type, but I am not going to let you out polite me. When I’m done with you, you are going to feel like I serviced you!
Below are a few snippets from a recent chat where I started to wade into the waters of #2…. potentially more to come.
Andrew > Hi. I’d like to inquire about any promotions being run right now that I could take advantage of. The cost of Comcast is getting too high for me to continue with, but I’d very much like to keep the service
Maria > Sure thing! Let me help you with that. An awesome day to you!
Andrew > Thank you so much, Maria.
Maria > And Happy Thanksgiving, Andrew.
Andrew > Thank you!
Maria > Andrew, it’s great that you’re interested to know our promotional rates. I sure do understand that by availing any offers we have, it would help lessen your monthly bill.
Maria > Let me get into your account and see what we have available. I’m here for whatever questions or concerns you have. I’ll do everything I can to help you.
Andrew > Brilliant. Thank you very much for your assistance, it is greatly appreciated.
[Yadda, yadda, yadda... we can't make it cheaper, but hey, here's something that'll make your monthly bill even higher!]
Andrew > Thank you, Maria. While I recognize that the Digital Preferred package is at a significant discount, unfortunately it raises my monthly cost and I am trying to lower it.
Maria > You’re welcome, Andrew. And I totally understand your point. I am sorry I offered that as alternative option since we do not have any existing offers for digital starter.
Andrew > I fully understand. I appreciate your patience with me and your willingness to help. You are very good at your job, in my opinion. This has been a very positive experience.
Maria > You made me happy on your last remarks, Andrew. Thank you very much for that compliments.
Andrew > I only have one last question before I let you move on and provide another Comcast customer your excellent brand of customer service. Where are you located?
Maria > Oh, great question, Andrew! I am situated in the Philippines. This is one of Comcast’s global center.
Andrew > That is a wonderful country! I hope one day I willbe lucky enough to be able to visit its people and culture. Thank you again for your help today.
Maria > You should visit my country one day, Andrew. I am sure you will love it here.
Maria > Do you have other concerns for me today? I will be glad to assist you further.
Andrew > Maria, you have serviced me to the fullest extent, I cannot fathom having having any other questions for you to attend to at this time. I am filled to the brim with customer satisfaction.
Maria > Thank you, Sir.
Andrew > Thank you again, and have an awesome day!
Maria > Thank you for choosing Comcast as your cable TV provider and have a great day! Comcast appreciates your business and values you as a customer. Our goal is to provide you with excellent service.
Andrew > Do you give massages and how small are you hands, in general terms?
Maria > [Chat terminated by customer representative]