Behold my slimmerizing sheath. It is breath-taking.^*

Ever since I can remember I’ve kept my Bank of America debit card in its protective sheath. Of course I did. In fact, I’ve even been known to go to the bank and request a fresh replacement sheath when it was called for. Of course I have.

Like a samurai’s sword, once it was removed from its sheath it had to be used else I’d bring great shame and dishonor to me and my family. “Yeah, that’s what I said. a VENTI decaf latte with a shot of peppermint, extra whip. On the card.”

Well, are you sitting down? …. After over a decade, I have finally thrown out my Bank of America debit card sheath. Yes, it’s true. I am sheathless. I’m raw cardin’ it baby. And it feels greeeeat!!

I will give you a moment to compose yourselves.

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